There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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