I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
