I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
