I'd wear matching sweaters with you
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
