Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
