the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
