what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
