i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize