I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize