are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize