Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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