She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
