i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize