So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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