If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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