I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
