I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
