They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
