so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize