i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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