Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
