let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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