I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
