if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
