i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Even my vagina gasped.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize