What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
