I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My vagina is very pro this idea
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
