Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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