just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
A bitchslap is in order.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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