This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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