ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
