i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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