i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
