Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
