Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
