What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
