What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize