I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
