i think i have herpe
just one?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
