Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
