It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
