Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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