i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
