Michael Bay diarrhea
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize