Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
