Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
