Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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