Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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