so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
