And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
