Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
