Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
