Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
