I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
