Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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