you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
