Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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