At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
