Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
