so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
