Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
