So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize